Aren’t those big clumps of dust that appear as if by magic under beds and other furniture disgusting? They just spring forth from the earth out of nowhere a moment after a good vacuuming.
How I hate them! Just seeing those scattered dust bunnies which dare to spread in profusion all over my flat can trigger off an hysterical attack.
As a total clean freak, I only feel at ease in an immaculate environment, as spotless as a surgical cotton swab. Among the variety of forms filth comes into being, gigantic dust bunnies are my particular bete noire. I obsessively search for them all over the house, fully equipped with my cleaning tools, just to fail time after time. I cannot eradicate them for good. They are the inorganic version of cockroaches, that surreptitiously invade the Earth.
According to the dictionary a dust bunny is a loose, tangled ball of dust, lint, hair, etc., you find in places less frequently cleaned. A GREAT BIG WHOPPER! I myself command an elite cleaning squad formed by the cleaning lady and all the members of my family (the former for a salary; the latters, forced by me) and I assure you that, despite my efforts, dust bunnies, atrocious tumbleweed of dirt, are a plague impossible to finish off.
However, I think I have found the perfect solution. What I need now is to contact the right people. I want to install in my walls, floors and ceilings (as there are dust bunnies that have developed the ability to stick like limpets on high places: the Sherpa dust bunnies) a flux capacitor.
As I find it impossible to get rid of dust bunnies for good, I won’t make my own blood boil. The solution is to send them back (to the past) or forth (to the future). The person who pushes the buttons on the control panel will decide. So, although I can’t completely eradicate them from my own spaces…voila! End of my worries! I will easily clean my present of dust bunnies. I could send them, for instance, back to the Lower Paleolithic. I don’t think australopithecines would care about it. It’s not a good idea to send them back to Renaissance, is it? Can you imagine how I would feel if my disgusting contemporary dust bunnies fell like an avalanche on Leonardo da Vinci’s head while painting La Gioconda? I would never, ever forgive myself! No way! Damn them all to Prehistory!
Does anybody have Doc’s telephone number?